- Twitter: @DaneCook
- Bio: When I tweet, I tweet to kill.
- Followers: 3,034,792
- Friends: 153
- On Twitter Since: February 16th, 2009
Dane Cook I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
7:15 PM Jun 9th
Dane Cook Being the villain that ultimately saves everyone has to be the best role ever. A truly heroic asshole.
7:06 PM Jun 9th
Dane Cook When you bump into a good friend of your ex and they confirm how right you were the whole time. Big win.
6:06 AM Jun 9th
Dane Cook "You want it all but you can't have it." - Faith No More
11:17 PM Jun 8th
Dane Cook If you fall down in public and can't laugh at yourself, well, you deserve the additional ripped crotch.
10:27 PM Jun 8th
Dane Cook I'm at the Laugh Factory Hollywood tonight at the 10 o'clock show. Great lineup.
2:31 PM Jun 8th
Dane Cook Got some really wonderful news today. I can't wait to share it next week. Some inspiring news!!!!
2:04 PM Jun 8th
Dane Cook Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.
1:42 PM Jun 8th
Dane Cook Someone needs to make a zombie movie where when you get bit it turns you into a singing and dancing extraordinaire.
1:29 PM Jun 8th
Dane Cook RT this if you had sex today that you wish you could take back.
1:21 PM Jun 8th
Dane Cook Is there a porn category for multiple personalities?
1:13 PM Jun 8th
Dane Cook I hope in the sequel to Man of Steel that Bizarro Superman is the nemesis.
11:47 AM Jun 8th